to mobile or not to mobile

I have done many brilliant things in the 30 years that Ive lived on this planet, i.e. jumping off fences, narrowly escaping being sold into the white sex trade (for a future post), going to complete strangers [perverts] homes to massage them and tonight, washing my cell phone. Although I have had many experiences unintentionally/intentionally destroying electronic devices, discovering that I had accidentally washed my phone with my laundry was one of those moments of total and complete realized brilliance. Im really just surprised it hasn't happened sooner, it could be due to the fact that I rarely do laundry and generally avoid it like the plague. Needless to say, I don't think this is going to be one of those 'take it apart, let it dry and then it will work the next morning' moments. It seems as if it is thoroughly toast.

I really should think of this as an opportunity to retire the ole cell phone altogether. I have been finding them more and more obnoxious as the years have passed on. I find them especially aggravating during moments of road rage. Why is it whenever someone does something ridiculously stupid in a car they seem to be using their cell phone? I'm all for multitasking if you are coordinated enough to do it,

but please,
for the love of god and all that is holy...
DON'T RUN ME OFF THE ROAD SO YOU CAN TEXT MESSAGE YOUR FRIENDS!

After doing something ridiculously stupid the drivers seem to be sincerely surprised when I'm screaming profanities after almost being run off the road. its like "woah, whats going on? am I driving? why is this strange person on a scooter screaming at me? the last thing I remember is getting into my car and calling Billy." I imagine them being sucked into this vortex of cell phone signals and meaningless babble, unable to process reality and the people around them.

I remember driving in Australia back in 1998 and getting pulled over by a policeman for using a walkie-talkie. I think I was going 50, and my ticket was for 50 over the speedlimit. The reasoning was that I should have been going 0 while using it.

I think that this could possibly work if implemented here. I wonder how many serious accidents are caused by people distracted by their cell phones. I cant imagine wanting to use it for an extended period of time if I was in danger of getting a hefty ticket. We could probably fund a nationalized health care plan with the revenues made from traffic tickets involving cell phones...Yes, yes, talk while you drive people, even text I say! I need health insurance before I turn 65.