to mobile or not to mobile

I have done many brilliant things in the 30 years that Ive lived on this planet, i.e. jumping off fences, narrowly escaping being sold into the white sex trade (for a future post), going to complete strangers [perverts] homes to massage them and tonight, washing my cell phone. Although I have had many experiences unintentionally/intentionally destroying electronic devices, discovering that I had accidentally washed my phone with my laundry was one of those moments of total and complete realized brilliance. Im really just surprised it hasn't happened sooner, it could be due to the fact that I rarely do laundry and generally avoid it like the plague. Needless to say, I don't think this is going to be one of those 'take it apart, let it dry and then it will work the next morning' moments. It seems as if it is thoroughly toast.

I really should think of this as an opportunity to retire the ole cell phone altogether. I have been finding them more and more obnoxious as the years have passed on. I find them especially aggravating during moments of road rage. Why is it whenever someone does something ridiculously stupid in a car they seem to be using their cell phone? I'm all for multitasking if you are coordinated enough to do it,

but please,
for the love of god and all that is holy...
DON'T RUN ME OFF THE ROAD SO YOU CAN TEXT MESSAGE YOUR FRIENDS!

After doing something ridiculously stupid the drivers seem to be sincerely surprised when I'm screaming profanities after almost being run off the road. its like "woah, whats going on? am I driving? why is this strange person on a scooter screaming at me? the last thing I remember is getting into my car and calling Billy." I imagine them being sucked into this vortex of cell phone signals and meaningless babble, unable to process reality and the people around them.

I remember driving in Australia back in 1998 and getting pulled over by a policeman for using a walkie-talkie. I think I was going 50, and my ticket was for 50 over the speedlimit. The reasoning was that I should have been going 0 while using it.

I think that this could possibly work if implemented here. I wonder how many serious accidents are caused by people distracted by their cell phones. I cant imagine wanting to use it for an extended period of time if I was in danger of getting a hefty ticket. We could probably fund a nationalized health care plan with the revenues made from traffic tickets involving cell phones...Yes, yes, talk while you drive people, even text I say! I need health insurance before I turn 65.

Broken arms, broken dreams

When I was in kindergarten I had this friend Jamie, we were pretty much inseparable. The following summer after kindergarten, Jamie was climbing on a pile of bricks and they came crashing down on her and crushed her legs. I’m not sure the exact details as I was young and mostly focused on the wheelchair/attention she received, but I know that it was fairly serious requiring her to be in a wheelchair for at least 4 months then crutches for another 2 or so.

I was very jealous of Jamie and her wheelchair; I desperately wanted one of my own. I had a plan...In my backyard we had a dog run and you could easily climb up one side and sit on the top of the fence. At the time it seemed very high and I thought it was the perfect place to break both of my legs. Unfortunately or fortunately, I underestimated the amount of force required to break ones legs and only managed to break my right arm. Being the incredibly smart child that I was, I did not give up after the first failed attempt; I managed to break my arm 2 other times before I gave up the dream of getting my own wheelchair.

I discovered later that I could go around the neighborhood with old oversized crutches pretending to have broken a leg with almost the same effect. Although I thought I had everyone fooled, I’m sure they all looked on me as the 'special' child and gave me attention out of sheer pity that I was so pathetic. I know my parents went through a phase of questioning whether or not I might have all the necessary developmental skills other children my age had. I should have probably just told them I wanted a wheelchair, it would have been cheaper in the end

Lesson to be learned here? Never throw yourself off a fence for a wheelchair; you’ll just end up with a broken arm.

Autumn Flu

I have a cousin, lets call her ve, she is a germaphobe of the highest order. She is always in a constant state of panic whenever strangers approach her or her kids and is convinced that everyone is going to get her sick. I dont remember a time when I have given her or her kids any pathogens, but I swear, without fail, EVERY SINGLE TIME I hang out with her I catch something. This last time she gave me the full works, sore throat, nausea, dizziness...I cant tell if its the flu or some rabid cold/flu hybrid, whatever it is, its enough to make me want to drop all my classes and hybernate for a year or so. must...get....well....

Beautiful remedial mormons

Being from Utah, I am used to the occasional, okay...consistently regular, ignorant comments made about a number of subjects ranging from politics, science, health, economics, you name it. Although I am not generally a confrontational person, if I hear someone spouting off something I feel is inadequately represented, I feel obligated to offer a rational argument explaining why they may be entirely off-base. I'm not saying that I am the logic queen and that anyone who thinks differently from me is irrational, but sometimes I wonder if these people were raised in closet with fox news as the only visual and auditory stimulation.

In my human rights class tonight, we got into a discussion about why the U.S. still insists on holding on to the death penalty as a viable form of punishment when most of the world has deemed it a violation of basic human rights. There were a number of different opinions presented from other classmates, mostly involving the U.S. needing to stay strong and not swaying to international pressure to follow international law, because that would make us look weak and *gasp* lose the respect of the rest of the world. I find this argument to be not only obnoxious, but dangerously ignorant. There are a number of people, at least in this state that feel that because they are American, they are some how entitled to some bizarre sense of power...We're Americans, we can do what we want! I think that if the U.S. wants to be apart of an international community, it only makes sense that we adopt the laws that we expect others to follow. Outside of Asia and Africa, there are very few countries that still use capital punishment, how is it that we are right and the rest of the industrialized world is wrong? Are criminals more violent in the U.S., and therefore need to be more punished than criminals in other countries? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Readmission

After many failed blogging attempts, I have decided to make an earnest effort this time. Its not to say that I have anything spectacular to express other than the occasional rant, but after reading a few blogs of friends, I have decided that blogging is indeed worthwhile. Blogging takes stalking to a whole new level and I really look forward to many potential stalkers.